I cannot capture
The horror
Of every day routine
The hollow I find myself in
Because I am scared
To escape
Petrified by unfounded fears
I stick to the known
Never straying far
Never living much

I cannot explain it
If you have not lived it
Why saying what’s on my mind
Is painful and embarrassing
Why forming attachments
Is terrifying
Why being with the same friends
Is empty
And why I cannot break free

If you know what I am
I pity you
Because you are the same;
It is a condition
I would wish on no one
One not easily reversed
Which pervades almost every moment
Of my life

It fills the silence with weight
And aloneness with grief
Shy extrovert

I hope you are not like me.

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