Hate

You said I was like her
You put me in a box
You assumed away everything
About me
Until there was nothing left
Nothing I could do
Not reason, not protest
Just watch
As what was left of us
Fell into ruin

I loved you, that’s the truth of it
A truth I try to forget, because why
Why oh why did I let you
Tell me what to do
And what to be?
If I was like her, it was because you
Made me like her
Made me pluck my eyebrows
And brush my teeth
And wear some makeup
Because it was “preeetty”
But it wasn’t me

Why did I have to be something else
To make you happy?

I remember everything you said
As I walked away –
I remember you telling me that I would be old
And alone
You must have known
This was a fear of mine
You framed it like you were concerned
Because something was wrong with me
And if I would just stay, you would be the cure
Yes,
You were really just doing me a favor.

I wondered for a long time
Whether what I did and how I lived
Were just to spite you
Was my new relationship
Just an attempt to spite you?
Was I happy just to spite you?
Was it working, just to spite you?
And when I had my revenge, would it all fall apart?
But the truth is, the bitterness leaves
A little each day
And sooner or later, you no longer matter
My life moves on and
I don’t have to pretend
That I’m ok.

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