Some not-too-old unpublished ones

Eventuality

Excitement and dread
Is all I can feel
Two sides of one world
About to be revealed
A rift created
I wish it wasn’t so
But in my mind
This is the only way it can go
Too many memories to just leave behind
Too much pain to just say it’s fine


Beauty

Like something that walked out of a dream
Evenings never seem
Quite real, when i’m with you.
Everything is more beautiful
The moon, the stars
Perhaps it is because the night is ours
If one could see through our eyes
The world loses its vain disguise
Becomes plain, intelligent and raw
Such beauty, no one ever saw
It’s a secret to behold
For those few who can comprehend
You caught me thinking I was the end
The only one who might see
But then there’s you
And there’s you and me
And together, the world is lit
And every single piece seems to fit
If you’ve got me and I’ve got you
It seems there’s nothing we cannot do


Beginning of the End

I blamed myself for so long
Told myself to just go on
Even though I was the one inadequate
I told myself to take what I got
Everyone else is perfect, and I’m not
So who am I to complain, or request more?
But the truth is I am perfect
As perfect as anyone else
And it’s my right and in fact my DUTY to ask for more
I demand a better lifestyle
Some happiness, if you can’t give it to me
Then I demand someone who will
I’m tired of holding my breath waiting for the change
I’ve cried so much and now, it’s time things don’t stay the same
It’s the end or the beginning, only time can tell which.


Goodbye

The time we had together
was not sullied by our dreams
Everything we’ve been through…
The road is long it seems

I am not meant for you
Because you are not meant for me
I was but a brief stinging touch upon your life
And that is all I will ever be

The truth is in my heart
I feel connected to you by tragedy
So much loss, so much pain
And we’ve helped heal eachother’s wounds, thoroughly

Now I ask you to let me go
Not for you, but for me
The time we had was splendid
But this was not meant to be

I’ll cry as I walk away
I’ll cry as I go
I’m not leaving your life
This for certain I know

But I’m leaving a chapter unread
Some page undefined
Closing the book
entitled “yours and mine”


Change of Mind

Everything is different
From the way it was before
The things I used to think…
Those ideas are no more

What used to be black and white
Is now a blurry shade of gray
And I reside somewhere in the continuum
Doing my best to make my way

It’s funny how ideals
That served me well all my life
Come into question
Now it’s harder to see wrong from right

It seems there’s just accepted and not
Which all depends on who I’m with
So it comes down simply to
What I think I can live with

Without my ideals steadfast
My mind is always changing
It’s clever really how
My words are elegant staging

For the raging undercurrent
Of a very messy mind
Thoughts only pile together
When necessary, and at the right time


Moments

Somehow, this all makes sense
Talking done without a pretense
I wish the world was more like him
He doesn’t smile when things are grim
But he can still laugh when things are wrong
He lives in the moments, and when they’re gone
He shrugs it off, and life’s okay
He lives for the moments, he lives for today.


Distance

Distance doesn’t matter
When two hearts are so close
Logic isn’t a factor
When emotions start to boast
Feelings so strong
They could tear a person apart
With doubt and fear
Emotions that come from the heart


Sunset

The setting sun
Beats against my eyes
Shining fiercly
Reminding me of goodbyes
Reminding me
That everything must pass
Like the light into dark
and the future into past
I must go too
At the end of my day
Back where I came from
Someplace far far away


Scars

There’s so much you don’t know about me
So I figure it can’t be real
You trust me without knowing?
I don’t know how you deal

You’re nervous, you say
But I think you’re confused;
I won’t tell you what’s wrong
Because I’m afraid of being used

So hurt I became
After three long years
Dependence became weakness
Now i have so many fears

Afraid of being taken
And hidden away
Afraid of losing who I am
Because I’m more willing to stay

Unhappy to please you
It’s what I’ve always done–
Sacrifice myself,
Don’t worry about what I’ve become

I finally started feeling
Like I was being me
Now I feel like I’m going to lose it
And no longer be free

But I want to let someone in
Because I want someone to see
The parts of me I can’t share
With anyone but me

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