Indeterminism

Debated about posting this or not. I wrote it yesterday. The tricky thing is that my boyfriend has access to this blog. 90% of our communication over the past week hasn’t been face to face and this probably won’t help. But if I don’t have this place to pin my emotions, I don’t know what I have left. So here it is.

Indeterminism

Eight months I’ve been with you
Through mostly happy, gentle times
Yet this month, the darkness came
With fights and battles to change our minds.

Every time we have a fight
We still come out the other side
Yet every time I wondered
“Is this where our relationship dies?”

Because that incredible comfort and security
I feel when we’re OK
Vanishes like a wisp of smoke
If we’re at odds today

I don’t feel like I will be attacked
For speaking my own mind
But when you hear me, and say nothing
I have to assume you will say goodbye

I’m willing to do anything,
Anything to be with you
But if I don’t know what you’re thinking
There isn’t anything I can do.

My point is, instead of making us stronger
Our fights just break us down
If we continue like this
I don’t know how much longer we’ll be around

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